“Put an end to this before it puts an end to them”
medicine.net childhood obesity
American heart association Child obesity
So in case anyone wants to know why I am jumping to this topic, it’s because the other day while on facebook, I was talking with a “group” page that I have joined (not going to give out information to protect the people in it) but someone had decided to post a facebook “meme” with a picture of a girl no older than probably 12 eating an ice cream cone but she looked to be “overweight” & the picture asked “Do you consider this abuse” or something around that. Now knowing myself this was the perfect topic for me, seeing as I am major in exercise science and I have this strong mindset on helping people in the fitness/health world. Before I decided to make any comment, I read through all the other comments before me (there was around 100+ from the fellow group members & some agreed it was abuse and some had not believed it was & some thought it was “mean”/”cruel” we were passing judgement on this girl. Now, I had to think this through on how I was going to announce I believe it was abuse and explain myself because I wanted people to be made aware I wasn’t being “mean” or “cruel” but honest.
I finally made a comment and it went something like this “Yes, this is abuse at it’s finest, but who can we blame when the parents are uneducated about health and or about life, and don’t care in particular about their child being “overweight” because these same parents were treated the same way by their parents which answers why they are also obese/overweight. It becomes an ongoing cycle and because of this reckless behavior the child is the one whom suffers the most. Now the little girl probably don’t think nothing much about her weight now, because mommy and daddy looks the same and mommy and daddy doesn’t seem to care about how they look. When this little girl starts to get picked on in school about her weight, she then either turns into a bully, her self esteem trimmers, her self worth becomes obsolete and as she reaches the age of 18, she then either decides she doesn’t like what she sees in the mirror anymore & gets help from a professional, eats healthier on her own & exercises, surgery depending on how bad it is and changes her lifestyle choices. On the other hand she could also decide she doesn’t care how she looks anymore because she is so used to being “overweight” that it doesn’t phase her and she continues on this path of being unhealthy and some point she will fall into a depression, which then turns into her eating because of it and that causes more issues because now she can hardly move or want to leave the house, her body aches, she cries and is alone, her parents are still overweight and telling her it’s “okay” but she knows better, she thinks it’s too late and some point she may try to commit suicide or live a very unhappy life because she chooses to or has no one to lean on. Now all of this has happened and we want to blame the child because she is 18, and can make her own decisions but then no one thinks about how the parents chimed in when she was younger and made her eat this unhealthy lifestyle because they did it themselves and didn’t know any better nor cared to stop it before it got to be a bigger issue in their daughter’s life.
So now I have people saying they agree and liking my post. I felt really good about it, until someone decided to post something a bit more heavy. This lady decided to retort to me by saying she works at a homeless shelter and works for the welfare office and begs to differ with me because she knows these parents can’t afford to feed their children “healthier” foods so how dare I judge and make this assumption it is the parents fault and how dare I judge this poor little girl. The lady told me I need to look up prices of healthier options versus the unhealthy options & come back and let her know if it’s as easy as it sounds. With this, I didn’t respond, because the post ended up being deleted because the person did not like the fact people were arguing over this “meme” & wanted it to cease so she rid of it. You are probably wondering what I would say back, and in my next blog I will talk about this, for now I want to stay on the topic of unhealthy eating in children causing “obesity”.
I don’t care how you analyze this situation or how you believe it should be solved, it’s still abuse. This is no different than a mother starving her child, the difference is the parents are allowing their child to binge eat to the point where they no longer can do day to day routines without struggling, being made fun of about their weight and then causing mental and physical abuse to this child. Abuse is abuse, no matter what kind.. it’s wrong. The problem with society is we make light of these situations but we do nothing about them when we see them in our face everyday. We make light of the child in our kids class who is bigger than the other students but we sure don’t think about why before judging, we don’t teach our children to not make fun of kids who may be bigger in size or smaller in size, we say things in light of that child to make our children believe it’s okay to make jokes. Now all of sudden we want to make people aware of child obesity is becoming a huge problem because now we see more and more cases where children commit suicide or turn into bullies or do obscene things. Now we want to make sure every child eats healthier at school, every child participates in a gym class at least once. We want to motivate them to play sports but don’t allow this same child to play on the field because he/she isn’t as good at your star players. This in itself is an ongoing operation and no one seems to notice but me? This is sad.
So we can’t control people’s households and we can’t force a child to participate in gym, and we can’t force them to eat healthy foods in school because they have a right to eat whatever their parents pack them if the parents deems necessary. Although my 7 year old brother goes to school here in Ohio and his teacher sent out a notice to all the parents letting them know they are to pack “only healthy foods” nothing else will be accepted. This was difficult for my mom because he is a picking eater still and only likes a select few of fruits and veggies and isn’t the biggest water drinker I know. Somehow she managed it, but there were days she would pack him teddy grams as a snack and the teacher would tell him to tell our mom it’s not acceptable, my mom didn’t like this and she pretty much let her know the situation and how she will be packing his lunch. Now mind you, my mom is a wonderful lady and she still packs him “healthy” foods but some things just rub her the wrong way, especially since both of my brothers are skinny as all hell, they eat but have good metabolisms so she isn’t worried about his weight. So with this being said, some things can’t always be enforced when a parent doesn’t want to follow through because they don’t feel the need to. When my 20 year old brother and I were in school they did not force us to eat healthy or even talk about healthy eating, we always participated in sports and gym class so we never had an issue with that but not all kids are like us and some don’t like it. What can you do? Stop beating the children over the head with the health and wellness & start talking to the parents about it, make them aware of it and have them choose the destiny for their child. Some parents will follow through and others will not, if a parent is sending their overweight child to school maybe we need to make this a sit down and talk with the mom/dad and see what is going on.. so that we can better help them instead of judging them & their circumstances.
Who knows maybe this child eats because they are depressed, you don’t know until you ask someone and find out before it’s too late. Now school healthy eating & gym will be a whole other conversation topic blog. If child obesity isn’t important to you, it should be, because it’s sad and cruel to make a child who doesn’t know any better than what their parents/guardians tell them to have to go through such pain for the majority of their lives. It’s not fair. If you are a parent ( I am not one) then take responsibility for your child’s health & if you don’t know how, then do some research or seek some health advice. If you cannot afford healthy means of eating, then how about you eat whatever, but portion it so that it doesn’t become a binge eating fest & keep your child active. That’s the very least you can do if the situation is you can’t do “anything”, because now you know you can. I believe child obesity is abuse. I do realize some medicines can make a child gain weight and ailments as well, but think about how much weight these things will cause the child to gain and decide if it’s the medicine or is this another problem/ decide if this child has a condition and if they do, figure out how to make it so they can be cured, or do whatever you can so it’s not YOU putting weight on them, because we can’t help what the body does but YOU can decide what your child eats, and how much & make it easier on them in the long run. No one is perfect, but don’t watch your child fall into a dark hole, help them get out of it. I don’t care how much he/she weighs, health has no weight! I care about how unhealthy or healthy a human is, obesity is NOT healthy.
Thank you for reading, feel free to comment, share, follow and like.
Sincerely,
Your blogger Shay-lon
Be the best version of you 
Reblogged this on Staying healthy isnt a crime-Fitness is a lifestyle choice and commented:
Now this was a blog post from a long long long while ago that I did, but I am bringing back some older post on my blogs for people who failed to see them or because they are relevant. Hopefully no one finds this particular post offensive, but I want people to be aware that child obesity remains a problem.
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You didn’t judge anyone in the first place. Eating healthy has been proven to be cheaper, because part of eating healthy is eating less.
Fat is gross, unhealthy and sad. It’s also 98% unnecessary. If one must eat $#!+ it would behoove them to push away from the table a little sooner. The lady from the welfare office that drilled you was probably fat too. 😉
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Jim! Lmao! omg, this shouldnt have made me laugh as much as it did! your comments are always so blunt and honest, lol.
which is sad. i just feel like this isn’t an issue I can spread with butter and make it sound like it is okay.. when honestly it isn’t.
This is part of the reason why children get bullied
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Yep. Interestingly, I was bullied when I was a kid. Considerably.
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Yes, so was I, maybe not to the same extent as some children now, but still it was bullying nonetheless. Kids are cruel these days.
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Meh, they were back then too. What’s important is we get over it and share our experience with others so they can too. 🤗
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That is very true. Yeah, they were. LOL. but Ill pretend they were fast just to seem cool for having one! haha. Did I mention I used to skateboard as well.. yeah.. those were the days! lmao
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No, I never knew that about you! Too cool!
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Yes, I was good too! I was very good actually. It was fun, something to do with my sibling. I thought I could be the next Tony Hawk, but life had other plans for me. Here I am blogging about it! haha! 😀
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Nothing cooler than a chica who can skate or ride. Nothing. 😉
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Let’s start where we agree: No one should abuse their children. While body positivity and health are desired states, an obesity epidemic is not a desired state. Parents should take responsibility for the health of their children. On each of those points, I am with you, and I’m all for the promotion of awareness, especially as regards healthy approaches to diet and exercise, which I think is sorely lacking in the world today.
That being said, I am an obese mother (whose child is in a healthy BMI range) who was raised in an abusive family. Far from making me unable to comprehend your argument, I think this gives me a unique perspective into how to best reach what should be your target audience: Parents who have the ability to make healthy and productive change.
In reading your blog entry, though, I found myself feeling, at best, defensive, and, at worst, downright judged (which doesn’t change the situation)! Having lived through sexual and physical abuse, I think it’s extraordinarily problematic (and psychologically damaging) to have that conflated with the diet parents serve their children.
I also think making an argument based on a meme absolutely divorced of context is a sign of privilege, not of empathy or an attempt at understanding. We know nothing of the parents’ circumstances (finances? education? ability to access or improve either?). We know nothing of the child’s health (depression? thyroid issues? other health concerns?). We know nothing of the immediate situation–is this the one treat the child was allowed to have after months or years of rigorous work to get to the state she’s in now? Should every overweight child be told they are NEVER allowed to have a treat until their weight is in a medically desired range?
You’ve caused me to think a lot about this, and for that, I thank you. I hope, though, that you would consider what it’s like to live on the other side of this issue. I hope, in making arguments, your goal would be to help others, not label or judge them.
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Hello! Hello! thank you for taking time to comment on my post about child obesity & a special thank you for sharing your brief story with myself and other readers to give insight.
Firstly I am glad we are on the same side when it comes to bringing awareness and hopefully helping to educate people on the importance of a sound nutritional lifestyle.
Secondly, you are absolutely correct in saying that many families and children who suffer from any kind of abuse can turn to bad habits, whether it be bad eating habits, drugs, alcohol, etc. you name it, people have done it. Which this brings up a good point, so in those circumstances, that would mean it is the parent’s fault for their child’s lack of nutrition because even though you endured the abuse as a child growing up, you had the choice as to how you handled it and managed it! which is why you chose to not be an abusive parent, chose to make better decisions regarding your own family and habits. So while your situation effected you, you didn’t allow it to effect your child. That is the difference, see some parents grow up in your situation and allow what happened to them to happen to their child and then we as a society pass judgement on the child & make him/her feel less than, which in turn is mostly bullying. Do I judge you? no, because you decided to make a difference in your child’s life so they didn’t have to go through what you went through. BUT, I do blame the parents who go through your situation, come out of it unhealthy, then in turn allow the cycle to continue when they have children and that child ends up being bullied, harassed, hurt, or kills themselves because the parent didn’t make the right decision for their child, the child got shitted on for it & take the blunt end of the stick, not the parent, the child..because the child has to live their life under their parents rules even if they may not agree with everything so it is the parent’s job to step up to the plate and this is what I meant when I was informing people of child obesity, that we shouldn’t blame the kid who is overweight, we blame the parents, because why should a child suffer because the parents suffered.
My mom wasn’t taught on portion sizing, meal planning, etc, now she wasn’t obese, but she wasn’t educated either on the matter, nor was my family “rich”, but somehow she still managed to make sure our health came first, even when we were struggling, even while going though her abusive relationships.. she still managed to make sure myself and my sibling were healthy at all times. Now maybe she is a rare case, I don’t know.
Also you are right in saying that the meme is a meme and we don’t know anything about it, sure we don’t but that doesn’t mean we can’t make our own assumptions. While others may laugh and make light of her weight, as a fitness professional, I found it sad and I had to ask myself was this meme even appropriate because honestly, I see meme’s like that in real life and it is heart breaking because I can only imagine how that child feels when they know that others are making fun of them because of their weight, shit kids were cruel when I was in school, now kids are worse.. and don’t give a fuck.
So my overall point of this post was to not judge or make one feel out of place and I apologize if that is how you felt, but you are allowed to feel that way and are always welcome to my page no matter to share honest thoughts and opinions even if they differ from my own. I hope my explanation made sense, if not.. well I failed. lol. But, thank you for your feedback.
Shay-lon
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It all stems from the parents. Parents are to blame. Feed your baby healthy foods, cook healthy, don’t introduce junk foods, fast foods, preservatives and all that stuff, it can only do damage. In a lot of cases both parents are working, and it is just easier to buy take out for dinner, wrong choice, make a plan ! It is not cheaper to buy rubbish, it is more expensive, has anyone considered medical costs? an obese child inevitably has or ends up with health issues, or gets colds and flue and what not perhaps more so than the normal sized child, and lets not even go into the health issues as this poor child gets older…..
Sorry, it just really saddens me to see an obese child. They withdraw, become self conscious, hate themselves eventually, get teased, end up with no friends, end up being the outsider and I could go on. This can be prevented if the parents just became aware.
Another issue that saddens me immensely is when I see mentally handicapped children overweight. I have to ask myself, why?
Lovely post Shay-lon, sorry for my rant. x
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Lynne,
This is the most I have heard out of you on a post! this was amazing, and very heartfelt, I literally teared up when you mentioned the mentally handicapped children who are overwight, that right there pulls at my heart even more so as well.
Lynne, I have had many people feel opposite, that it isn’t the parents fault, it is the product of their environment, or because of the mental or physical abuse that the parent or child have been through. Personally, I can understand both of those reasons, and agree to them to a certain extent because as adults we can choose if we want to continue the cycle or change it. I have shared with multiple people already that my mom was ignorant on the topic of health and fitness, she didn’t know about portion sizing, nutritional value, carbs, proteins, fats, etc. She didn’t spend her days away on a computer researching and wasn’t taught about it in school or from her parents, but she wasn’t overweight and neither were myself and my sibling. My mom had abuse relationships for the majority of my life and still managed to make sure I was healthy, she was depressed for the majority of my life as well and still managed to make sure I was healthy and never once was I obese as a child or nor her. She just knew as a parent you don’t allow your child to overeat, you make sure you introduce them to variety if you can afford it, you watch their weight gain, you learn their likes/dislikes, you feed them fast food, but you don’t allow them to gorge to the point of sickness or to the point of carelessness. I am not a parent, don’t think I could with the world being the way it is, but damn, society shouldn’t be putting the blame on the child and having the child to take the blunt force trauma from being put to death in their household and their school; why should a child have to kill themselves because of being teased because the parent didn’t step up to the plate and handle business no matter what it took. Why do parents get defensive when a child is being bullied to death in their damn environment and wants to commit suicide or decide to do a school shooting. Why are parents complaining to the schools about serving healthier options at school but unsatisfied when the WIC office puts whole wheat bread on the list of items instead of white bread. Why are parents throwing out financial reasons when you have allowed your child to eat you out of house and home and knowingly not say or do anything about it. I personally don’t care what your child eats, because I eat cheeseburgers like the next person but also believe in moderation and exercise… so maybe it isn’t about being taught what to do, but wanting better for them vs what you did for yourself. see what I mean or no?
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I do see what you mean completely.
This is a massive subject and there are so many areas involving it. I feel it is a parents duty to guild their child, show them what is right from wrong. Eating falls in that category. Once that person gets older, and becomes an adult, then the choice is there’s….
Today, there is or should be more awareness of health and what is good and what is not, we have the resources.
Over the years, times have changed. My mom didn’t know too much about health either and in those days there were not computers for research. We were a healthy family and enjoyed home cooked meals everynight and none of us were overweight. Moderation is key !
I am not sure costs of food around the world, but I do know here in South Africa, fast food/take out, is ridiculously expensive. I have proven it to be more economical to cook.
Also, the kids today are not as energetic as they should be, they are so consumed in technology, cellphones, tv. Kids just don’t run around and have fun and play games outside….Shouldn’t the parents try and encourage sport and outside play from a young age?
With regards to the mentally handicapped, it saddens me immensely when I see these kids overweight. This is very close to my heart as my eldest daughter fell ill at 3 1/2 years old (long story) and was left mentally handicapped. When she was a little older I put her in a little school that opened up just in the mornings (Monday – Friday) on the hopes of helping her with more brain stimulation. The school only had 6 children in it, including her. She and another child were the only decent sized kids. You should have seen what the parents packed for snack time !!! Shay-lon you would have been horrified ! I know mentally handicapped children can be demanding, but just feeding them endlessly, with crazy portions is not helping them. Mentally handicapped children do not have a voice, so it is up to the parents, to be their voice, and provide the best they can to prevent their child from becoming overweight or obese.
My friend, now you know my story, I have this beautiful daughter who I will go at any lengths to keep as healthy and as happy as she can be. She too, is my gym buddy at home, and enjoys walking on the treadmill. 🙂
Have a beautiful day. x
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Lynne,
Thank you for replying back. I currently work the mentally handicapped and I can tell you, that I agree with you very much so, just looking at my clients I work with. Sometimes I want to ask my boss, can we not hire someone to help them with their health/weight, so that they don’t accrue more health issues in the long term. Of course my clients are much older, so they probably don’t care as much as they might have used to if they had, but still, it is the principle of the matter.
I was just going to bring up the fact that children are not as energetic, I see that with my youngest brother who would much rather stay indoors and play video games than be outside riding a bike. When I was his age, I was always outside doing something, i never wanted to come inside. Sure, I played video games but when the weather allowed, you bet I was outside having a ball! My mom always encouraged us to play sports, I was an athlete all my life Lynne, it was in my nature to be active, and like you said, my mom might not have known all the things we know now, but she tried and everything worked out. We had more homecooked meals than we had take out because it is expensive! it is ridiculous and myself, I would much rather sit down someplace and eat then go through a drive thru if I do eat out.
I am happy to know that your daughter is your gym buddy! that is awesome! LOL I bet she kicks butt at workouts.
Shay-lon
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Thank you for sharing Shay-lon. I obviously don’t know the extent of the mentally handicapped that you are dealing with, but with Ashleigh, she has no clue or concept of such things, so she totally reliant on me. It is really sad. Thank you for all you are doing for the mentally handicapped 🙂
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Lynne,
Thank you for sharing your insight with myself and my readers. I commend you for being able to work with Ashleigh and not giving up on her, that is amazing!
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❤
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