Selfie first?

Selfie damage

Selfie 2

Selfie- A photograph that one has taken of oneself, typically one taken with a smartphone, or webcam and shared via social media.


The selfie; duck lips, body pics, friend pics, smile pics.  It is notorious for having the same person in all the pictures; ourselves.  It has taken over social media, was made into a song, created to be a tool,  now its the way we see ourselves in the mirror. Who needs a mirror when you have phone & an audience ready to give you the “okay” on how you look.  Does anyone not know how to take a selfie and share it with all their peers, or is that an automatic thought.  Between the selfie stick and our music this generation may be doomed.  


I have taken selfies, as a matter of fact, I can almost guarantee all my pictures in my phone are based around selfies & the minority are the ones I have taken without me in it.  I am not against picture taking, of course not; I love art & everything that comes with it, but the minute we decided to use duck lips was when I realized this was going to be another fad we follow that dies.  I had someone share something with me that I decided to look into more & inquire about because it went along with my “body shaming” topic and also made sense as to how the mind works. 


This particular person threw a curve ball at me saying “taking selfies causes more problems then it does curing them”. I had to ponder on this for a bit to give myself understanding about what this person was telling me.  Finally after a while, I decided I would talk about this with all of you and share my personal opinion & maybe share some interest and facts about this Selfie lifestyle. People take selfies for many reasons:

  • For self gratification
  • show off new clothes,
  • body image
  • celebrations with peers
  • advice
  • social media
  • self hate
  • funny faces
  • snapchat

Some reasons are better than others and have more meaning. Taking a closer look into things, I have researched information that follows: most people take these pictures to be accepted.  Take this how you want to, and believe what you want to believe but do think about this for a second because it kinda makes sense in this day and time.  For young people, nothing is better than having someone compliment you and prove their like for you than to like something you posted about yourself.  Outer appearance makes the world go round and is the difference between being “beautiful” and ” “ugly” (which sucks) unfortunately this also means in order to take these pictures and have a decent amount of fans, sometimes you have to explore all your options and risk more. I have noticed on my facebook, if you don’t have filters more than likely your natural look gets less likes & less likes= less people who think you are pretty/attractive and when people don’t think you are attractive that means=you feel ugly. 


This is the perfect equation for selfies. More likes= more attractive, more attractive=more attention, more attention=more fans, more fans= possible friends, more friends= popularity, popularity=self gratification, more self gratification=narcissism & at some point someone will disagree and say self gratification= more confidence, more confidence= more self esteem, more self esteem= happier, more happy= the higher chance of a better life? Either way, the end result only benefits yourself; which in the end means self absorbed because you’re thinking only about you. This is supposedly the good about selfies. 


Lets talk about the bad. Less likes/no likes= less attractive or not attractive, not attractive/less attractive= less fans, less fans/no fans= less possibility of making friends, less/no friends= loser/not popular, not popular/loser=no gratification, no gratification=no self confidence, no self confidence=low self esteem, low self esteem= negative thoughts, negative thoughts=self harm, self harm= possibility of death and/or hospitalization. 


So now you are sitting here thinking, what are the chances of someone caring enough of what others think? why would someone post pictures to for “likes”?  The ” I don’t care what others think” attitude starts to come through to hopefully make you feel better about yourself. WHICH FAILS, because in the end you can’t let go of the fact you only received 10 likes versus the next girl/guy who always manages to get 100+ likes/followers. I just want to know what part of this people don’t understand. Selfies aren’t a bad thing.. sure.. until something bad happens and makes you rethink your pictures and how you respond to comments. 


So when we breakdown all the uses for selfies, we come up with no matter what it is for self & the problem with self, is we don’t have anyone who is willing to think about someone else if it means they have to win this competition of most followers, most likes, prettiest pictures, most filters used.,ect. This game of who can take the best selfies is just a game that should be kept as fun instead of making it into a gigantic ball of favoritism. Who cares if you have 200 friends on facebook versus the 5,000 of someone else who knows only 200 of them. Let the truth be told, your picture is no less beautiful because you didn’t get all the “barbie and ken” dolls on board. I have to admit this, I have NEVER had more than 30 likes on a picture.. & more than 100 followers on instagram and my twitter account just proves my relevance in this community; haha ( I don’t take any of these sites damn serious) because when I take pictures they are in my phone and I don’t feel the need to post them for extra exposure all the damn time. Sometimes I like being able to laugh at the chick who has 100+ likes because she had to show her cleavage to do so.. & her pretend “I just left the gym picture” that proves her vain mindset knowing damn well she never touched the gym in her life just wants a reason to show off her body in her leggings..


Now don’t get wrong, I am a pretty girl. I have no issue showing off my body either.. trust me. I could work extra hard and take selfies of every aspect of my life and routine to gain exposure and be accepted, but I choose not to because I don’t have the time on my hands to do so and I prefer the “every once in a great” while take a picture of me with my friends. I use snapchat but I don’t care how I look when I’m sending my friends a snap; they have seen me enough times during the good and bad to know I am not perfect. I don’t need someone to give me the “thumbs up” on how I look, I decide that for myself; I don’t need my “head blown” up or a confidence boost. If I want someone’s opinion, I’ll ask for it. Now for those of you who have high expectations of yourself and your photos, kudos for you. Drive yourself mad, and question your beauty, not my problem.  Just make sure to keep your self righteous opinions of others to yourself. I would highly appreciate it.  


A selfie doesn’t make you any prettier on the inside”  -Shay-lon Moss


Thank you for reading, please comment, share, follow, and like.  



Your Blogger Shay-lon

Published by WonderWoman & Fit

You can assume I have a love for fitness & a love for Wonderwoman -- both assumptions are correct. I am an ACSM certified personal trainer of 7+ years -- I currently reside in Ohio and live a simplistic life at the age of 29. If I am not lifting, I am eating, sleeping, traveling, exploring, or movie watching. I recently moved during a pandemic, now I am focused on self care (self love), building a business of my own in personal training, becoming a professional blogger, starting a podcast and doing things that make me happy! I am a sister, daughter, and loyal friend --- I love everyone's dog and I am on a mission to pet as many dogs as possible everywhere I go! LOL. My mission is to talk health (physical/mental), design programming, motivational speak, learn, grow, prosper, build others and make as many people smile as possible because I want nothing more than to be the change I seek in the world.

5 thoughts on “Selfie first?

  1. You have some excellent points in parts of this posts and in parts of it your tone makes me feel kind of offended. Why? Because I’m a fashion blogger who posts hundreds of selfies and on my most active account; my tumblr get over 100+ notes. So this makes me feel like you think I’m stupid and vain for sharing the way I look hoping to gain a positive response. That I’m laughable and not sure enough of my own beauty. I don’t agree. I love the way I look, especially my face and when I feel pretty I take selfies so I can preserve and document the way I felt about myself that day. Then I share it saying; “I felt very pretty today” or “love the way my makeup looked today” etc. I’m not stupid, I’m not narcissistic. I just like fashion and the way I look. I would love if you could elaborate your thoughts on this because right now I feel kind of offended.


    1. Yes I can understand your point. I don’t mean to offend you or anyone else. My point was many men and women are so self conceited with themselves and don’t use this selfie lifestyle as a positive. In your case you use it to help your career or hobbies and gives a chance to feel good about yourself. I respect this about you and others like yourself. I think I didn’t make my point too clear , I was demonstrating how taking selfies are used in a negative light instead of a positive one. Which I hope soon changes.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. No prob! I’m actually very intriguing by this subject! I’m going to ask my friends and followers and see how they feel about selfies


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