I don’t know where to start, because I have no idea where I left off on this blog and I am sure it was sometime last year — the one thing I loved and made a routine of, was the one thing I strayed from for a long time; writing. It seemed things were always coming up and I never sat down and made time for writing anymore. Well, that is changing .. I am making time for blogging and I plan on making it a full time profession/career (along with the career I am doing). It will be a grueling process to catch everyone up on my life since; but I will. Today will be the beginning. BEFORE, my blog starts back up on “Fitness/wellness/mental health, etc”, I want to give you guys a chronicle of my life since FEB/MARCH when covid started … leading up to today/now. Today will be part one.
When covid hit, I was still home and it was all over the news about people getting sickly, it was sending people into a downward spiral. Stores were constantly out of toilet paper, paper towels, hand sanitizer (I didn’t even realize it until I was doing my normal everyday shopping). Thankfully, I had enough for myself (thinking it would pass in a week or two) – boy was I wrong! None of my family members were panicking really, neither did I. I guess because we have had so many outbreaks of flues, diseases, that I didn’t think too much about it. It wasn’t until my job at the gym was closing down, that it really hit me. Soon after that, my second job (warehouse) was offering a certain # of employees ‘leave of absence’ for what they predicted would only be for 4 weeks and it was explained to us we could collect on unemployment/ and get the extra $600 the government was giving due to the covid epidemic. I raised my hand to take leave; I didn’t like my job and at the time a co-worker was constantly going out of her way to basically workplace bully me and make my life harder … all due to an incident she created on her own but was upset at me about it and due to the fact she didn’t know how to mind her own business and got involved in an incident that was between me and another co-worker (long story but really wasn’t that drastic). Even worse, my own friends at this warehouse turned on me after the whole situation went down, it was almost too stupid for me to even believe.
It was another week when my job announced who all got picked to take ‘leave of absence’, I was named, I was excited! I was looking forward to being away from work. During this time, my gym was also closed and I had no way of working out or training my clients… I made attempts at training one of my younger clients outside at the park or high school track just so we could keep up with their cardio and try to find bodyweight exercises to help with strength (plus it also helped me because I would workout alongside her) but it was short lived most weeks, because the weather was cold or raining.. eventually causing us to put a halt to the workouts and me not even trying any longer to workout. I could tell my body was taking a downward spiral because I started waking up with pain in my ankles every morning, I had gained so much weight, lost so much muscle and toneness. I couldn’t even train for my powerlifting meet because they pushed back the dates over and over and over again. I was eating out a lot – take out. I wasn’t so worried about the lack of socializing because to be honest, I was still visiting my family members and still having get-togethers with my friends that I didn’t feel the effects of the lack of socialization. If anything, I wanted this to slow down my socialization so I had time for myself but the time I was spending was on video games, laying in bed, not doing much moving around and collecting pounds. Losing access to the gym was my kryptonite! My self awareness wasn’t there, I was ignoring my body, ignoring my unhealthy habits and creating an unhealthy space for myself thinking when the gym opens, it will all go away. I didn’t realize that 4 weeks from work would turn into another 4 weeks and the gym being closed for 4 weeks would be another month. I wasn’t prepared for it , I literally had no routine anymore, nothing to work for, nothing to do, and every goal I was once fighting to achieve was on the back-burner for another month. My social life was still flourishing and my finances were fine, I wasn’t struggling by any means — when they sent out the stimulus check, I proceeded to add it to my savings account. I was making smart financial moves the whole time while out of work, I nearly saved so much money because I didn’t have to spend it doing anything because everything was closed. On the other hand many of my friends were working and my mom was still working, along with one of siblings, everyone was essential.
I remember leading up to this covid epidemic, I was constantly praying in my car before work about finding a job in the big city and starting over, starting a new chapter and exploring new places — this will all make sense later in my writing. March was my birthday month and it definitely wasn’t the same, but I had a small get-together at a friend’s house outside and it was fine, nothing huge but it felt huge to me. It was the thought that counted and the people who made it to celebrate my special day. I’ll never forget them, or the moment. Stores were still out of toilet paper, and other essentials, many times, I would have to buy the really cheap toilet paper that tears when you wipe (ugh) but it was all they had most of the time if anything. Even ordering off of Amazon was impossible because people were buying uhauls full of toilet paper and sadly, some people were being robbed of their essential items, even more sad, the ones who had a great amount of supplies were trying to sell them for twice what someone would pay at the grocery stores (including baby formula) .. the economy was taking a HUGE hit, and small businesses were falling apart because they had no financial means to keep them going. All the major fast food restaurants were having a coin shortage, were running low on certain menu items (so they condensed their menu and made rules of how much you could order of that specific item); Wendy’s was out of hamburgers for the longest time. The sad part is all these fast food businesses were still open but my gym was closed, and it made no sense to shut down a gym that provides physical wellness, as well as mental wellness for some but to leave open fast food chains — it was literally smack in the face when the govt made that decision. The whole world was crumbling underneath our feets and there was nothing anyone could do about it. Nothing.
This is where I will leave off today, but I will continue this story… hopefully tomorrow. I don’t know how many parts I will end up creating, but I am thinking it might end up being a 3-4 part story until we get to my now life.