Change your way of thinking

When I first wrote this post, it was back in December of 2015 (my second blog post) and I read through it, and decided that since then my thoughts have changed. I first initially wrote this on the terms of being “fit” and based on a body type that society feels we should have to fit in with what is trendy —While all of this is still somewhat true in 2021. I wanted to expand on this and not just talk about body image but also the way we think of ourselves. I wanted to start 2021 with a meaningful post and this won’t be the only post that I decide to update.. as a matter of fact, I am going to go through all my older post and update them if necessary and rewrite them and stick with it, all the while, I will still add new content on fitness/health/mental wellness.. but I wanted to update my blog for 2021 and stick to this and do what I set out to do when I first started blogging; become a professional blogger/writer, and to inform and grow. I intend to also start podcasting once I have more research down (and yes, I will stick to it, even when shit gets hard and I want to give up) I am going to plan things out and do things that make me happy and set aside things that don’t support me, don’t motivate me and don’t fit in with the plan I have with my career, my future, my emotions, my mindset. This will be a rocky start but hopefully it will unfold slowly & bring back the audience I once had, bring back the feelings I once had, bring back the peace I need in my life, and bring back some good memories with a dose of a new adventure along the way. I have made so many apologizes, that I don’t expect anyone to actually follow but this time I have a plan and my plan is blog and continue to live life on my terms whenever possible. I might not blog daily or blog with lengthy post but I will blog weekly to begin with and allow my writing to increase to the point where I am blogging more and speaking with my peers more and growing within.

So let’s begin with this “change the way you think” — for a while this was what I thought I was doing & I thought I was successful in doing so, but recently found out my success was short term and didn’t plan for my future obstacles ahead. I still don’t have this down 100 percent quite yet, but I am learning more about change and changing the way I think in order to get the best results physically, mentally and overall in my life. This will be a slow process for most of you, because we think the way we think based on multiple factors but we don’t always know how to change it when we believe what we say is true about ourselves. Yeah, this is where things start to get a little deep — what do we think of who we are as individuals? Like do you love yourself? do you truly enjoy being in your skin? Do you truly believe the compliments people give to you? There was probably a time in your life you believed everything someone once said that made you feel unstoppable, beautiful, on top of the world.. ? Yeah, I did too, many of times actually. All those times I believed it, those same people ended up hurting me. It is 2021 and I had someone tell me I was gorgeous — can you believe that? a word reserved for someone out of my league but they said it a lot, but not too many times. This same person told me “You are great, you know that?” and honestly, I had never received that compliment before in all my 28 years, hardly even close to something to that caliber. How can I be great? how in the 3 months of knowing someone can they actually tell me that I am great? it seems odd but I liked it secretly because it was different and because I always believed I would eventually do something great in my life — so yeah I know what it is like to believe someone else about myself. The problem is when that person shows less interest, or becomes harder to talk to, or the conversations seem stagnant, or perhaps you have a bad day and all you want is for that person to come through — like say anything that might put a smile on your face just for a second so you know shit is okay — that everything they said is still holding true. You can say this person is my crush – we aren’t dating and we met in Oct of 2020. I had no expectations going in, but now I have realized I put too much expectations on myself because I am trying to figure out why I don’t feel great anymore, why I don’t believe I am “gorgeous” anymore, and I know exactly why, it is because I didn’t have the mindset I needed to believe it about myself — I went in hoping someone would change my mindset for me, but that doesn’t work people; you have to change it on your own and have good intentions — be kind to yourself (because when someone throws you the compliment, it won’t be shocking, it will feel good, and you will know it is true because you know your worth) that is it, “your worth”.

So yes, don’t follow societies rubric on what your body type should be, and don’t allow numbers on a scale to diminish your happiness, and don’t go into this fitness journey or mental health journey in hopes someone will change your mind about yourself — instead go in with the intentions of knowing ahead of time that in order to get the results you want, you have to 1st know your worth and secondly change your mindset to something that fuels you and empowers you to handle obstacles as they come but to be proud of yourself. You are gorgeous, you are great! you don’t need me to tell you, because when you leave this post, you should be telling yourself. Every. Single. Day.

FitnessWonderWoman,

Shay-lon Moss