365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Past

3.16.19

Day 9

Where were you, 10 years, 5 years, and 1 year ago?

  • So this is a good question that requires long answers. I will try to keep them semi short for the same of having to read everything but what I wrote down on paper was much longer due to me really getting my thoughts out. 10 years ago, I was 16 years of age, 11th grade, living in Texas for the 2nd year. I had a few friends at this time, and I wasn’t playing basketball anymore due to a certain circumstance that got me kicked off the team the previous year (which I thought was highly unacceptable), but I was still running track and trying to figure my own life out. I wasn’t necessarily happy living in Texas but enjoyed visiting my Uncle and grandfather who lived a ways away in Texas. I wasn’t dating anyone, but I had a few crushes here and there. I was still uncomfortable with my sexuality — because I didn’t quite understand myself but didn’t really think much about it and didn’t reach out to anyone for understanding (I dealt with things alone) I flirted with guys plenty and got a lot of attention from dudes from school who would say vulgar or anticipate that I would have some sort of sexual experience with them (which I did not) the furthest thing I did was texting inappropriately but I had little knowledge on the subject, I was just searching for something & didn’t know what it was. I had good grades in school at this time and I was probably getting the news we would be leaving before I started my senior year to a new state. 
  • 5 years ago, I was 21 years old, happy as hell that I was finally able to drink alcohol legally (although I was drinking it before this) and I was not close to my mom, we would argue and bicker often, I wasn’t close to my younger brother at all, we just didn’t see eye to eye. I was still in denial about my sexuality to other people but I was already out to my mom at age 18 about being bisexual at the time, but wasn’t out about it to certain family members and friends. I was having an internal battle with myself, I don’t think I was in a serious relationship with anyone but I was dating around somewhat & meeting people offline. I had a few experiences here and there with men my age and older but nothing that I want to get into depth about. I was probably out of college (taking a break) but working two jobs at the time and living with a roommate. I didnt have my life together and wasn’t sure where I would end up.
  • 1 year ago, I was 25 years old, my relationship with my mom was shaking but better and my younger brother and me were getting along better as well. I was out in totally by this age and I don’t think I identified as bisexual anymore, so I think I mainly stuck with dating women at this point. Not in a serious relationship, but had pretty much dated around for a while. I was working at the Anytime Fitness gym and working with a company that helped the mentally and physically handicapped. I had already graduated college years prior to this and decided on being a personal trainer as a career choice. I was eager about the future but still dealing with the fact me and my ex had broken up the year previous to this. 
I like to think my life has been a rollercoaster of weird stuff and with all kinds of mistakes and lessons to have been learned from them. I might not still have my life together but I at least know what I want out of life for the most part now compared to then. My relationships with my family now aren’t as bad (although we have our days) but I am busy with two jobs and working on myself more than not, and I want so much for myself, I have put myself first these days and hopefully it pays off. 
 
If you are feeling up to it, share where you were 10 years, 5 years and 1 year ago. If not all three, choose one and share. I know it can be quite the question but the reflection is nice to look back on. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Past

3.15.19

Day 8

What family traditions did you have as a child?

  • Eh, Christmas at my grandma’s house and Thanksgiving at my Great Aunts. Opening one gift on Christmas eve. I don’t remember many of our family traditions beyond the things I have listed. If there were others, just doesn’t come to mind, but I think I hit on the main ones. 
Most people have a lot of family traditions, so share them with us. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Past

3.14.19

Day 7

What is your happiest memory?

  • When I started becoming close to my youngest brother, spending time with him, teaching him things, watching him grow up and realizing now how it played a huge impact on his life — he and I are always so close and I love him to death. He is 10 years old now and I just hope he always remember the times we had together. 
What is your happiest memory? 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Past

3.12.19

Day 5

What was the best birthday you ever had?

  • The best birthday I ever had was when I was a youngster just growing up and my family would take me to this Mexican restaurant each year for my birthday and I would always get a new sombraro. It was a cool experience and the food was good, it was tradition for me. 
Do you have birthday that stands out to you as the BEST birthday? Share it! 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Past

3.11.19

Day 4

What is your biggest regret?

  • I have a few. I’ll be honest in saying the list is LONG and can’t decide which is worse at this point in my life. We all have made some mistakes in the past (even if you live with the saying, no regrets); you have made mistakes you aren’t proud of. I was young once — some would argue to say I am still young at 26 but I was naive and adventurous and wanted to live in my own world and listen to my own rules — maybe it was the wild side showing after so long of feeling as though I was sheltered from the “fun”. I don’t really want to go into all the regrets I have because some are kind of dark and more private than others, but I will mention that one of my regrets is applying for so many credit cards  — I mean I had like 6 and probably only needed one & I allowed the credit limits and my credit score get the best of me and made bad financial decisions that I am paying for now STILL! which is sad, because I didn’t see myself in credit card debit as my future, but it happened and now I have learned from this mistake. 
Do you have any regrets you want to share?