Bigger is better?

“Size Fucks with people’s heads”

 

Yes, I said it! “Size fucks with people’s heads” I will say this multiple times in this post most likely, so keep this in mind as you read it.  

I believe yesterday or the day before I had made a post about how “Skinny” models are looked up to, well guess what? Society is playing tricks with us now & are now spreading rumors saying “bigger women” can be models too! The rumor is true & I totally agree with the fact we have established a way to include women of “bigger” sizes in this particular industry. BUT.. I am not advocate for this either, OKAY! I know I seem like a hypocrite because I said I agree with them doing this but now I am saying I am not an advocate for it. Well let me just explain myself so no one gets confused.

 
 
  • First off, I society is trying to “kiss ass” by saying, shit we just pissed people off with having too skinny of models, so let us prove we aren’t total douchebags & show how much we care about ” plus-sized” women so we don’t get bitched at anymore. 
  • Omg! we are pretending that it’s okay to be overweight (if the model is overweight) & this means we went from condoning (underweight models) to now being proud of and condoning (overweight almost obese models) Think about this one.
  • Where are the average everyday normal range models at? oh wait! we can’t have that because “normal” & “average” is different for everyone.. shit that means we probably shouldn’t have set either one of these standards. 
  • They use the word “curvy” to mask the fact these women are probably overweight =how crappy.. I mean they know they are overweight; why not acknowledge the problem instead creating more. 
  • Seriously Size shouldn’t matter if they are HEALTHY! but who is checking to see if they are healthy!? I know their agent isn’t because he is too worried about making the next dollar off her weight.. & hoping she gains more to keep the figure she has to keep his wallet fat! 

The fact of the matter is, this industry is mind screwing people.  I have to add that I love women who are confident in their skin & carry themselves as so, but I don’t appreciate the industry telling people “bigger is better” but then still on the side pushing for “skinnier” models. If they focused more on health rather than someone’s size we wouldn’t have a rising epidemic of cardiovascular disease. 

 

One day we are saying it sucks to be overweight the next day the media is saying “embrace your weight as a “plus-size” women.  Why should she embrace it if she is overweight and has a higher chance of type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, and on her way to a wheelchair if she doesn’t keep a semi active life or have a the help needed to get back down to a healthier her. For the women who are “plus-size” and healthy, I am all for it!! I really am! I think its lovely how well they manage to keep their bodies in good shape, eat healthier, still manage an active lifestyle and are confident enough where they don’t feel the need to be a size 0. It’s not the size that bothers me.. because size doesn’t decide your health, I will keep saying this. Its the fact we are screaming to be happy being “big” but don’t know how to challenge these women to be “bigger” and still healthy. It comes off as a careless pursuit for more money. 

 

So when I say I am for  “plus-sized” models, I am for the women who don’t have to be a size 0 to be beautiful & can actually say they are healthy; they aren’t struggling with their day to day routines because they keep an active lifestyle and eat good foods… they might have bigger thighs, a butt, wider hips, and a belly that doesn’t seem so flat “to the naked eye” but to me these women are beautiful because they care enough about their health that they don’t allow their weight to control their life. I am NOT for the “plus sized” women who lack any interest in their health, allow their weight to define them, don’t take their eating seriously, keep a not so active life, have issues with their day to day but pride themselves in being “big and beautiful” and push for more women to be that way! “Don’t be an advocate for other people if you can’t  maintain your own health”

 

“Size doesn’t have anything to do with being healthy, being healthy is eating right, staying active, mentally doing well, & overall wellness” -Shay-lon 

 

Comment, share, like and follow

Sincerely,

Your blogger Shay-lon

Friendly letter

“Begin to walk,  find your mark, then run as fast as you can”

smile

Dear Alexa,

I have chosen to keep your picture and last name invisible to the eye because I want to protect you from potential “negative people” who might find some sort of way of contacting you; not to mention you are a close friend of mine and I respect your privacy (Although I did get permission from her to use whatever I wanted).  Today I decided to write this post dedicated to you because you had many questions and concerns and not to mention seemed like you were “lost” and used words that made me feel like you want to start “now” on your healthy journey but for whatever reason you decided you weren’t ready yet.  

Her problem: (along with other people’s)

This all started when you decided to text message me asking “Shay are you going to the gym today, lol”, I was somewhat shocked but I had knew you knew that i attend the gym at least 4 days a week.  When I had replied with “no, I went my 4 days and I take my breaks on friday, saturday and sundays or i’ll go every other friday” I almost regretted saying it because I didn’t want you to think It meant I wouldn’t have gone with you.  After asking if you were going to go today, you responded with “lol, I’m not going today. I doubt it.  I’m too lazy for it!”, I was quite taken back because just yesterday I had made a post talking about motivation.  The problem wasn’t that you didn’t want to go today, the problem was when you said “I do need to go , but for today I’d rather eat unhealthy, lmao”.  I thought to myself why would she choose to continue eating unhealthy if she knows she wants to be healthier.  Quite frankly, I am happy you decided to group message myself with others included because I got some background knowledge from you and the other two friends as to why you choose to keep eating unhealthy and avoiding the gym. 

Mind you my friend Alexa isn’t necessarily overweight that I know of and she was a gymnist back in the day, she is still young (21 years of age) and works a pretty demanding job like myself.  She clearly has no excuse for her choices but she clearly also lacks the motivation needed to get started.  Her reasoning for why she feels the way she feels about avoiding the gym is “I get times in my life when I really want to look good then other times I feel like I don’t care and I just want to eat! lmao, waiting for the day I feel like I want to look good again!!hahaha” .  Continuing on from here, she says “Yeah, I love being healthy, I always feel soo much better when I’m healthy but it’s still hard bc I’m a fat kid and love carbs!”.  Take note of all of this as I will have answers and questions in other paragraphs. Another friend of ours adds “I want to be healthy but I crave sugar, fat and all that”.  This is a normal statement, because again people do get cravings and we will talk about this in a later post more in depth.  Alexa then states “I don’t like chocolate very much, I don’t crave sweets very often. My biggest downfall is carbs (chips, bread, pasta).  The other friend responds with “I enjoy eating healthy, I don’t have the motivation to continue to eat healthy because it’s easier to just get fattening food and it’s harder to make the safer decisions that’s why I struggle”.

Alexa: “True that, its really hard to work here and eat healthy as well, So easy to order pizza or pack some junk food”

Alexa: “Yeah it’s just hard!!! Honestly I think it’s one of the hardest things to do in life.. is to eat healthy and stay fit”  So I told them to both read my motivation blog I posted and asked Alexa what it means to her to be “fit”.  She responds with “Fit to me is healthy and fit to me is not just dieting either but also working out.  I like to be physically in shape as well as eating healthy.  Muscle tone, high cardio. All of it.  It’s hard for me to do one or the other.  If I am eating healthy I will def be in the gym too, and when i’m in the gym I’ll also be eating healthy. I can’t just do one, it’s like eating healthy inspires me to go to the gym and going to the gym help me “want” to eat healthy and make healthier choices!”.

My solution letter to you Alexa: 

Dear Alexa,

My dear friend, I realize you are having some sort of a battle with what you want but don’t seem to want to start now because you don’t have the motivation or the right mindset. You seem to clearly be in a rough patch internally with yourself, where you have these standards set so high of yourself but you don’t think you can manage them.  You know what you need to do, and how to get where you want to be, but you don’t know how to start or when. Yet, you seem so dead set on wanting to be this “new and improved health nut who can strive for the fit body”  by all means I support your goals and wish you the best on getting there but I’ll just give you some healthy advice before getting started so that results show in a timely manner and you don’t stress yourself out. 

  1. Read my blog on “motivation” & maybe read some books that give you some motivation and talk to people who want to get to the same place as you. 
  2. Ask yourself why you want muscle tone, want to be cardio fit and want to eat healthy
  3. Ask yourself if your definition of being “fit” is realistic and if it is, make bullet point on specifics that you want to see “fit” about yourself.
  4. Ask yourself what eating healthy means; make a list of foods, of recipes, of diets, of whatever comes to mind when you say you want to eat healthier
  5. Ask yourself why you haven’t gone to the gym, what is keeping you from going on a day off & how can you change that
  6. If you don’t want to attend a gym, then why not workout at home.. the gym isn’t the only place to exercise
  7. Write down  how you feel mentally; stresses, moods, anything good or bad that is on your mind
  8. Surround yourself with positive people who will cheer you on and challenge you to make the change you want to make 
  9. Stop making excuses for yourself.
  10. Find your safe haven and create a map that lays out where you are now in your journey and where you want to be (the end result); include obstacles and how you will get past them
  11. pack your lunch for work (no matter what you pack, just pack) this will be a step in the right direction, the first few weeks you may eat all junk food..but that’s okay for now until you take the steps to add variety..
  12. Keep in mind this will be a very slow process of change, and will take a lot out of you.. you will be risking and sacrificing so much but in the end you will feel so much better about your choices and won’t question your decision making. 
  13. Don’t quit cold turkey on ANYTHING food related, just take steps.. small steps. No rush
  14. Allow at least 6 months before you notice any results..(this is if you stick with it)
  15. Fall down like the rest of us have and get back up like a champ.. 
  16. Crawl before you walk
  17. Stop setting high expectations for yourself, that you can’t manage (you are only hurting your self esteem)
  18. Your body will follow your lifestyle (don’t aim for a certain body type, aim for a healthier body)
  19. Give your all, because 50% isn’t good enough
  20. Carbs AREN’T your problem.  Your problem was when you decided that carbs would be your downfall. You can eat carbs! ( moderation & variety, research your choices) 

Alexa, this post was not meant to call you out in a negative way, it was to give you insight and help you start.  You may still feel a bit overwhelmed but take one step at a time, not all at once.  Know that I am at your corner cheering you on ! you may feel alone, but you aren’t alone.. you have more than enough people who will see this post and will also cheer you on! I will continue to help you out and be your guide. 

Sincerely,

Your close friend Shay-lon

Modeling industry at a glance

 

Its the industry they work in that enforces being skinny & looking like someone. other people want to be like.  If it wasn’t for out coward way of thinking, I think our models walking the runway, spreading on magazines, bedroom posters and billboards would have a better sense of reality and probably would not feel so obligated to be underweight to make money.  It’s this type of thinking that has got people running around trying every diet possible to get down to size 00 & soon finding themselves in a hospital from lack of proper nourishment.  I used the links above to give everyone an idea of what some of these models look like and the problems surrounding the modeling industry & don’t you worry I’ll target the “big and beautiful modeling” world as well in another post.  You can’t deem this necessary and yet we find it totally sexy and erotic to have less skin showing and more bones revealed.

I decided to make this a side post, because I definitely plan on making it a “something to think about” topic for people entering this field of work, studying this, are a model themselves and believe what they see is what “perfect” looks like.  I hate to sound negative but this is not a sign of perfect this is a sign of destroying your health.  Which I am solely against. Yes, cigs, alcohol, and multiple other things destroy your health as well & probably seem more important; but guess what.. I am not here to preach about all that stuff.. I am here to open your eyes to things that go “under the radar” such as this. I can almost guarantee most of you already know every drug that could kill you & know that an abundance of alcohol can turn one into an alcoholic if they aren’t aware of their drinking habits, but I am willing to bet half of of the world probably has no idea that striving for this type of “unhealthy body” can kill someone and take away their life and future.   This isn’t to say models aren’t beautiful, this is to say their beauty is based on their weight and how they look… which is a poor way of judging someones beauty in my opinion; sure I like eye candy too.. but what’s eye candy if they look like they are suffering.

Most models don’t make it their business to tell people what a day to day eating, exercise regimen consist of because most of us would not be able to keep up with it anyways (it’s hard work and extremely difficult) I would have to guess the majority of today’s models who are “skinny” are on a strict diet for starters and probably have a some type of exercise regiment they have to stick to because if it changes it could change how they look in a split second which means less chances of getting work.   Feel the pressure yet? I guess I can’t blame them for wanting to be perfect, most of them grew up having parents who were models, or thought the modeling world just consisted of being pretty and looking good while having their pictures taken; they probably were not given a heads up on how hard it would be to compete against other women who who are “skinnier”, “taller”, and “prettier”.  If they had known this before taking this industry so seriously..some of them may have decided another career choice or maybe would have fought to make sure other women did not have to meet these standards.  I am not sure if it would have changed anything at all, who knows.  I just think to myself how beautiful these women are but none of them know this.  None of them go to bed feeling this way, none of them ever feel good enough, and yet we keep pushing the bar higher and higher; to the point where one day someone is going to be modeling on their deathbed.

Anyways, I think this gives people and idea of what this world is made of.  It also can open some eyes and make some people rethink some things about this industry and probably will cause a ruckus because I am not model myself but I can read between the lines.  I will stand behind this topic because I want others to know the pain of being “picture perfect” sucks and it doesn’t go away when people expect it out of you.  To all my models out there, you are beautiful, you are sexy, and you are trying and all of us can see it.. don’t ever feel like we expect more out of you then what you can deliver, hell none of us can do your job better than you can.. we want you to all be healthy and happy and if you aren’t either of those or both of those things, you need to put your foot down! we got your back!

Thanks for reading, comment, share, like and follow

Sincerely,

Your Blogger Shay-lon

Pre-judgement zone at the Gym

“Your biggest eyes have been used to assume the worst in others” -Shay-lon Moss

Gym 1

So for the past couple of days or so, i have been trying really hard to post different topics on each blog site because I thought that was the “way to go” but then I realized, its probably not the best option because not everyone uses other blogging sites.  For those of you who do not already know this, I have a tumblr, wordpress and google blogger account and so I realized not everyone has each of these like I do so not everyone can see what I post if I post something different on all of them, I want to make it easier for all of you & make my new goal copying all my post from each site onto one another so that EVERYONE sees EVERYTHING. If you do have all three of these or 2/3 of these and follow me.. I will still try to make one of them more or less different if I can but I am focusing on making them all the same so no one misses out.  Below I will post what I posted yesterday on my google blogger & both of them are on tumblr as we speak.

“When one steps inside the gym, he looks to see who is watching”

 

Today I want to talk about “gym judgement”.  For those of you who may not have heard of this phrase it’s because I just made it up.  Gym judgement is when you assume why someone attends the gym, why someone has the body they have, making light of someones bad form but not helping them correct it, making light of your body when know its better than someone else’s, laughing at someone who doesn’t lift as much as you do, making sure eyes are on you when you workout because you want to show off and prejudging everyone in the gym. Guess why I am speaking on this particular topic? because it happens & I have witnessed it the past 3-4 days now at my gym. Now before someone decides to say “everybody passes gym judgement” , you are correct but not everyone does it the same way.  Gym judgement can also be a good thing when it’s used positively.  Which I will explain.

 

Negative gym judgement examples:

 
  • she has cellulite
  • she shouldn’t wear leggings while working out because her legs are flabby
  • who walks the treadmill? seriously.
  • grandma needs to stay home because she obviously can’t move worth a shit
  • this guy is only lifting ______ pounds.. what a joke
  • he/she has bad form, they shouldn’t use the machine if they can’t use it properly
  • he/she comes here everyday, but still manages to be fat
  • that chick is super skinny, she should probably gain some muscle.
  • omg, who wears that to a gym..
  • wearing clothes that show more skin than necessary
  • drawing attention to yourself because you know you “look good”
  • lifting more weight than necessary but not able to use correct form/technique

Now some of these are verbal and others are non verbal ques of gym judgement. It’s making a conscious decision to make light of other people’s flaws while they workout & to puff your head up while you workout to make others around you feel intimidated or uncomfortable.  Its become apparent to me, that three men at my gym have made it pretty clear they enjoy gym judging people.  Actually they say much worse about the people, then I stated above but I choose to not type those words out. Normally their victims are elderly, young girls, young guys, anyone who seems “weak”, “ugly”, or overweight or vulnerable. These three men don’t make light out loud of course but they say things where I can usually hear it if I am near them or enough to make the person walk away & ignore them.  Mind you these men are middle aged men, probably late 30s early 40s.. and its really ridiculous they come to the gym to workout and ridicule others.

 

Positive gym judgement example:

  • Helping someone fix their form/technique and explaining to them why
  • complimenting someone on how well they are doing
  • Taking the time to realize everyone goes to the gym for the same reasons: to workout
  • Wearing appropriate clothing that doesn’t have to show your assets to make a point
  • staying humble but confident enough to do your workout and feel good
  • lifting weight that you know you can lift without destroying your form/technique
  • learning from someone else how to do a certain exercise
  • talking to fellow gym members to understand their reasoning for wanting to workout
  • have a positive attitude
  • don’t compete to show off
  • keep your jokes about people’s appearance to yourself and do not make light of it.
  • ask yourself if that was your grandma would you want someone to talk to her like that? if that was your mom or sister or brother, would you want people to laugh at them?

Again these might not all be something you are interested in, but these are positive ways to attend a gym and get the most out of them. Some of the negatives are also another form of body shaming, and its sad because people want to come to the gym to improve, gain confidence, feel good, socialize, to “get away”, lose weight, gain muscle.  The gym can be someones safe haven but when people tear people down instead of uplifting them, it makes it harder for people to want to go.  I know females can be quite harsh toward other females; when it comes to body and appearance but it needs to stop because at some point you might hit an ultimate low point in your life and trust me you will not want someone to continually tear you down.

 

Maybe some of you may know someone who is negative when they attend the gym or people who make light of others flaws instead of helping them, maybe you are one of these types of people yourself.  We all judge people, I do know this, even I do on a daily basis. but when I pass judgement at the gym, most likely I also try to help that person or put myself in their shoes because I have no idea how that person may feel or handle it, not to mention I never want someone to ever feel uncomfortable around me or intimidated. As for the three men at the gym who seem to enjoy passing negative judgement toward others at the gym, I plan on saying something to them if I hear of it again.

 

All-in-all just be aware of your mindset when you attend a gym and see people of all body types and training levels, keep in mind some people may struggle and that’s when you help and show them the way or maybe find someone who can or just ignore it and focus on yourself if you don’t care. Either way, just make sure you keep your mind open and comments to yourself if you have to be negative.

Thank you for reading, comment, like, follow and share.

 

Sincerely,

Your blogger Shay-lon

Motivation. Who has it?

“The lack of motivation happens when you decide it’s someone else’s job to make you do something” -Shay-lon Moss

Motivation: The act or an instance of motivating or providing with a reason to act in a certain way.

What motivates you? Who motivates you? & Why? Well these are the questions one should ask themselves; especially those of you who do feel motivated because chances are if you have no motivation you won’t be able to answer these questions. Let start with myself for an example.

Just an FYI, this is still based around fitness,health, and overall wellness which you will soon learn how.  

  1. I feel motivated to stay in shape, eat healthier when I think of the fact that I want to be a personal trainer, going to school for exercise science and know a few people who look up to me and want my help to make them feel better about themselves. I feel motivated when I see the obesity rates go up, when schools get rid of P.E classes, when  I think of my overall goal of wanting to be a fitness mogul of some type that helps people worldwide with how they feel and look & teach people to look at fitness in a different way. I feel motivated when I am challenged, debated, and questioned about my interest in fitness and health.  I feel most motivated when I look at myself in the mirror and realize how far I’ve come and how proud I am to be where I am now with my health and fitness. ( I hit a rough spot with my weight for a while) 
  2. Quite honestly I have learned to motivate myself but when I need support I have a few friends who also keep me motivated, I have my siblings who motivate me to want to be the best I can be.
  3. Why do I feel motivated by these things because I know all of these things play a factor in who I am today and my decisions I have made that go along with staying fit and healthy and helping others. 

Fitness and motivation go hand in hand when it comes to wanting the best for yourself.  The reason being is because if you lack any sort of motivation, you will most likely give up.  This is why you see people quit when they don’t see results, stop running before hitting the finish line, stop walking everyday to work instead taking their cars, stop eating healthy, stop worrying about their health because these people gave up and these people gave up because they had no motivation.  For some of you who are motivated, whatever motivates you is the same thing someone else may need to motivate them.  For those of you who don’t feel motivated, I am here to get you started because I want to guide you toward a positive mindset so that your motivation is internal like mine but if you run out internal motivation you still have the support of others.  The goal is to do things for YOU and not for someone else.  The end result of motivation is YOU have to want it, because someone else wanting it isn’t going to keep you moving for very long.  Trust me.  I am going to give you some steps to get started on motivating self.. 

  1. Say I can.
  2. Say I will.
  3. Say Today I start, tomorrow I continue
  4. Start small, grow big (small goals, big dreams)
  5. Fuel your inner self (build self confidence, positive thoughts)

When I think about these basic steps, I realize they seem so simple, but actually this will be a battle with yourself, this will test your determination, will power, and inner strength. You will fail, you will fall, you will feel weak, you will crack, you will feel defeated and lose hope; because of all that you will come out more motivated than ever.  I challenge everyone of you to take these steps and use them.  I promise it will take time & the road will be rough but once you reach the point where you can self motivate yourself, then you will be able to motivate others and then they will in return reach their internal motivation. Using motivation from others consist of:

  1. Talking to likeminded people
  2. Support them and they will support you
  3. share your achievements with peers
  4. post your achievements on social media

Both kinds of motivation are very good & no matter what, you should always know I will be your # 1  fan cheering you on and supporting you as you go through this journey of fitness and health. If you need to know who is here to back you up when you fall, I’ll be that person. If you need to know who you can brag to when you feel like you conquered a hurdle, I’ll be that person. When you need someone to cry to because you fell and thought you couldn’t get back up, I’ll be there to make sure both your legs are working (metaphorically speaking), when the rain pours, I’ll be your umbrella & when all odds are against you, I’ll fight with you.  I’ll be your external motivation & your friend through this. Take my hand & lets get started!  Thank you for reading, Feel free to comment, share, like and follow me. I appreciate all my followers now and I hope I have inspired some of you to take lead with me and allow me to help you feel like the best person you can be. 

Sincerely, 

Your Blogger Shay-lon