365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 7

Where is your safe place?

My bedroom. 

My bedroom holds my thoughts, allows me to be away from it all & gives me a chance to be myself; naked, clothed, happy, sad, angry, overwhelmed– it judges me not/I don’t have to mask myself and it comes without terms and conditions. It’s my “final resting place” metaphorically speaking;  where I end my day/night before waking the next morning. My bedroom holds my belongings that hold significant meaning to me, my hiding place when I don’t want to be found, it’s my island away from society when I need to escape. 

Where is your safe place? Is it inside your home, at a park, the library, etc. Whatever it may be, share it, tell me where you go to feel safest. Leave comments, shares, likes and follow! Thanks for reading, until next time. 

Shay-lon

Macro’s Log 9.07.18

12AM Meal (Work Snack)

  • Kroger Carb master yogurt (strawberry pomengrate) 
  • Kroger simply classic trailmix (13 pieces)

Yogurt Macros:

  • Calories: 70
  • Carbs: 5g
  • Fats: 1.5g
  • Protein: 9g

Trailmix Macros:

  • Calories: 150
  • Carbs: 14g
  • Fats: 10g
  • Protein: 4g

2AM Meal (Work Lunch)

  • Baked boneless chicken breast (3.69 oz)
  • Mayo (Victors brand) 3-4 packets
  • Kroger thousand Island dressing (2TBSP)
  • Healthy life 100% whole wheat bread (2 slices)
  • Lays baked potato chips (2.0 oz)

Bread Macros: for 2 slices

  • Calories: 70 (for 2 slices)
  • Carbs: 16g
  • Fats: 0.5g
  • Protein: 5g

Baked chicken macros:

  • Calories: 83
  • Carbs: 0g
  • Fats: 2.3g
  • Protein: 16.5g

Dressing Macros:

  • Calories: 90
  • Carbs: 5g
  • Fats: 8g
  • Protein: 0g

Chips Macros:

  • Calories: 110
  • Carbs: 22g
  • Fats: 3.5g
  • Protein: 2g

2:30PM (Snack at home)

  • Kroger creamy peanut butter (2TBSP)

Peanut butter macros:

  • Calories: 270 (1.5 servings)
  • Carbs: 10.5g
  • Fats: 22.5g
  • Protein: 10.5g

5:00PM Dinner

  • white rice with ground pork, baked chicken breast (shredded), fried eggs, sriracha sauce, thousand Island dressing

I did not measure food with scale — wasn’t sure how to go about it, since it was mixed together like a stir-fry

12:00AM Snack before bed

  • Same thing as dinner. This is very rare, doesn’t normally happen at all, I suppose I must have loved the food so much I wanted more, lol 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 6

What do you need to make you feel safe?

Hard enough question because the only time I probably ever felt 100 percent safe was growing up living with my family & knowing they loved me.  I guess as kids, you almost always feel safe with your loved ones & don’t think of the dangers of the outside world because you assume your parents are “superheros” and defeat all the bad guys. LOL Although there is some of you who have family members who are the bad guys, and you knew at an early age of what it meant to not feel safe, to not know where you end up: dead, alive, beaten, hungry, etc. & I couldn’t imagine those fates — so I try to be grateful for having tough love as a kid but love nonetheless. These days, to feel safe means to live in bliss, because in fact the world is in chaos (and now at an older age, it’s brought to my attention more and more) now to feel safe, I need to know I can protect myself and trust myself to make good decisions (sound decisions) and hopefully be observant of my surroundings & cautious of the people I allow within my circle/ and how much information I am willing to give to social media as well (including my blog). Not to say nobody can feel safe these days, but with more technology and it evolving daily, with more people with bad intentions, and with giving our trust to others, being “safe” is hard. We shouldn’t live paranoid of bad things happening, but hell, I can’t exclude the chances of it happening, because I wasn’t guaranteed a tomorrow, were you?

I suppose I have a small list of things that I need if I want to live a relatively safe lifestyle but can’t say I haven’t taken risk — because what is a life to be lived, if you can’t live it doing something you love. 

  1. Financial stability —- mostly due to the fact knowing that I have someplace to live, something to eat each day, something to drive to work each day, something to shield me in case of bad weather; I am blessed to be able to afford a place to live, it might not be a mansion but it’s shelter & that’s better than what some people have. We take for granted we have a place to call home or at least “crash” at, but I don’t know if I’d survive the streets being homeless —& many people live that life each day without knowing where they will end up. 
  2. Family— I mean I have always been within miles of my family in the same town/city as they are (not all my family members) but my mom and brothers & one of my grandmas whom I am close to, so when the day comes where I plan to move to another city or possibly state, it will be hard because it will be without the safety net of family who love me and have been there for me since growing up. For some people, they may say their friends; but I have a hard time mentioning friends because I have had so many come and go throughout my life, that I can’t say any of them made me feel completely safe — that if I needed a place to stay they would be the one to do it. I know if something happened to me, my family would be the ones to come to the rescue. 
  3. My faith — i believe faith makes a whole hell of a difference, I feel as though my prayers are questions that get answered at some point, it gives me a sense of safety knowing there is a higher power who protects me as well — and allows me to feel as though when I die, I have a place that I can look forward to. I believe that if one has some form of faith (no matter what practice) it encourages safety, and feeling at peace.
  4. A clear conscious— WEIRD? yes I know, because I like knowing that when I lay my head down I don’t have to worry about the possibility of someone wanting me dead. I mean this in a sense that if I have wronged someone, I like to make sure I get the chance to apologize or reconcile or something that brings me a better conscious knowing I did something right in place of my wrong, in hopes that person doesn’t hold a vendetta over my head and want me dead. Not to say it couldn’t happen, because whose to say people will always forgive me, but I just pray it doesn’t escalate to this level of revenge. Ya know?
  5. A good environment — because it can make all the difference. If you live in the projects and have to worry about being on the wrong block with wrong colors, or if you live within a household with ongoing abuse, having a circle of friends who take part in activities that put your life/their lives at risk, living in a town where you feel uncomfortable because of the color of your skin (due to how people treat you), or having to worry about the sex offended who lives upstairs from you and your family, etc. The environment in which you live in & surround yourself with can make a difference in how safe one may feel. I don’t live in the Hamptons, but I don’t live on a street where people would fear their lives walking & thankfully my household is not full of abuse nor neglect & my neighbors haven’t given me a reason to suspect they are weirdos, but you never really know — I try to make sure I am on top of that stuff because my youngest brother comes to visit sometimes and I want to be aware of his safety as well. 

All-in-all my list might be short but it has clear meaning in what I need in order to feel safe, sure I could have mentioned a weapon of some sorts (which I do carry multiple; especially when traveling) and of course I’d say knowing we have a legal system so that if an emergency arises, I know they will respond, having a cellphone for emergencies & common sense because lord knows without that, I wouldn’t be making the best of choices most of the time. I just assume those are all things we probably could all be thankful for in regards to safety, so I wanted to give a better answer that meant something to me & my sense of safety. 

Thank you for reading & hopefully all of you will leave comments answering this same question, because honestly, maybe everyone has their own sense of what it means to feel safe. Share, like and follow!

Shay-lon

365 days of Self Discovery: Day 5

What is the biggest compliment you have ever received?

The biggest compliment I’ve ever received was from someone I didn’t know personally, but someone who has been following me on social media and very supportive of my journey (good and bad) & appreciates how authentic I am on social media and how transparent I am with viewers. The compliment I received was: You are inspirational and such a great role model.

I have had many compliments in my lifetime, mostly of my physical attributes & while all of them I have appreciated, not many people I know have been told they are inspirational & had someone look up to them that wasn’t friend or foe, but a random person who happened to be following their life progress on social media. It’s a rarity & has a great deal of meaning to me because when I think of “inspirational” people, I think of public figures held at high standards & regards, that the majority of the world has heard of/knows of/or someone that has made a BIG difference in the world & earned massive amounts of respect for. I never thought of myself to be an inspiration to someone else, but it made me feel on top of the world. 

Please share with me in the comments what has been your biggest compliment you have received? No matter how small or big, if it has meaning to you and made you feel good, share it! 

Second to that, was when my mom told me she was proud of me 🙂 Who doesn’t want to make their parents proud.

365-Days of Self Discovery

Day Four

What are your worst traits?

this is one of those questions where people become vulnerable and scare of how people will perceive them after admitting to their flaws. It is almost like we have this thought, that because we have these traits that aren’t so good, we are somehow damaged goods that nobody wants; but in my opinion, it can be quite liberating to talk about our flaws, because it gives you a sense of humbleness and allows for you to re-evaluate yourself and choices. Many people don’t think about their character flaws, so this question is good for that purpose, it is good to talk about what characteristics about yourself need work. We are human, so everyone has a flaws, sometimes we see them and sometimes we don’t. 

My traits I consider to be worst:

  1. I can be somewhat judgemental towards people due to their outer appearance or how they present themselves
  2. I have a hard time speaking to people/engaging in conversation without rambling or having an awkwardness about me because of my social anxiety
  3. My anger, how abrupt it can be without thought
  4. My ego, I don’t realize sometimes that my confidence can come off as arrogant to some people and perceive me as snobby or “above” them. 
  5. My own self doubt, I know I mentioned how ambitious and motivated I am, BUT many times, I give up putting in effort into something when it doesn’t bring results right away or put off the project in fear of failure
  6. I can be somewhat clingy when in a relationship, not the stage 3 clinger but I have a habit of ignoring everyone else around me and cutting people out of my life due to being a relationship and only focusing on the relationship — not my best trait 
  7. Being extremely hard on myself when I don’t excel at something or when I feel as though I am stagnant & not progressing in my life compared to other people. 
  8. Talking lowly of myself, I use negative things to counteract the positive that someone shares with me about myself, it just happens without thought & now I am being more self conscious about it because I want to love myself  & understand myself more.

Now this was again one of those questions where it might be harder for some to admit to their faults but If you are up to the task, I would love to have you guys leave comments about what you would consider your worst traits. We aren’t perfect & as long as we are aware of these flaws and making steps towards making them a positive force in our lives, I believe there is nothing wrong with having them. Thanks for reading, feel free to follow, share, like, comment 🙂

Shay-lon