Heavy Bench press PR

Making positive moves

Warm up:

  • Pec dec machine: 4 x 25, 20 lbs
  • Resistance band reverse fly: 4 x 25, green band
  • resistance band triceps kickback: 4 x 25, green band

Workout:

  • Barbell bench press: 3 x 120 lbs, 3 x 125 lbs ( I did 2 reps at 120 lbs for a new PR)

Superset:

  • DB farmer carries: 4 x whole track and back, 110 lbs
  • Plate hyperextension: 4 x 8-10, 35 lbs

Superset:

  • DB upright row: 4 x 8-10, 40 lbs
  • DB triceps kickback: 4 x 8-10, 20 lbs

Superset:

  • Barbell shoulder shrugs: 4 x 8-10, 185 lbs
  • DB hammer curls: 4 x 8-10, 50 lbs

Superset:

  • DB chest press: 4 x 8-10, 60 lbs
  • DB lateral raises: 4 x 8-10, 20 lbs

Cardio:

  • Spin bike: 20 minutes, gear 6, rpms 70+

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 59

10.31.18

When was the last time you were creative?

  • I am far from a creative person, that side of my brain lacks & when I think I am being creative, its because I came up with a good idea but don’t pursue it. The last time I was creative was months back when I started creating my business cards for personal training and my website

Why Rehash the Past? I’d rather take my loss.

rehash the past

Yesterday — I didn’t expect to get the text message I received and to be honest, I didn’t expect to not care either. To be fair, I have had many times where I cared too much about something and needed answers but I am learning that sometimes answers carry weight & I don’t need any more weight on my back or anymore luggage to carry around with me. I received a text message from someone I used to talk to, we weren’t in a committed relationship at any point in time, but we had started talking sometime in February and I was left to pick up what was left of me at the end of August of this year. She really enjoyed me and while she wasn’t my type initially, I gradually started to enjoy spending time with her as well. She started “falling in love” with me over this course of time and while I had love for her , I didn’t fall in love with her, and so I was upfront about wanting to stay friends for while longer until I sorted out my feelings and felt that I was ready for something more serious. I started talking to another person, because I liked having options and getting to know other people, and I figured by explaining this to her and allowing her to do the same, it was only fair & would put less pressure on us eventually dating. Over a period of time, she started replaying her thoughts and emotions, hoping that we would at some point be on the same page & end up together but I kept things stalled. If we fast forward some months, we ended up fighting over dumb shit, things that didn’t matter whatsoever but were small and avoidable but because I think we were spending so much time together, maybe it was a sign we were growing sick of one another — I don’t know. We had made plans on a Friday & she lived a hour and some odd minutes away, so I figured we would meet up at her house, get a nap in and talk and start in on the plans — BOY WAS I WRONG. We did get a nap in, but the talking part was only pain and anger mixed in one bottle & I was left crying and enraged and she was emotionless & content with her decision of “asking me to leave” — I eventually left after having tried to talk to her, but she didn’t want to hear anything I had to say, all she could conjure up, was needing time to herself for a while & I respected that but I didn’t understand her reasoning for having me drive all the way there to be told this bad news in the first place. It was her way of telling me to my face — which I value but I guess, I never seen the signs coming of this horrible day to come. 

I remember leaving her house and looking at her one LAST time before driving away, and my tears were hardly dried up and I looked exhausted. If nobody knew any better, it had looked like I was mourning a loss, and to be honest I was, I was mourning a loss in friendship with someone I had grown to know. I gave it a week or so before I messaged her, all the while I was falling apart and feeling useless, I just felt the world stop before me. She had ignored all my messages until she finally answered letting me know, she was hoping to “ghost me” but she felt bad about it and decided to give me a response and basically left it with “I just want to be single for a while, and I don’t want to talk about this anymore” — all I could think of was: 1) we were never dating, 2) I was completely okay with her being single & 3) where the fuck did all this come from in the first place. I did tell her those three things, but she refused to answer any questions and I asked her about our friendship, like how does this effect our friendship & she basically decided against being friends as well (without saying so)  —————— this leaves me to my point as of what happened yesterday.. 

Yesterday she sent me a text apologizing for how she left things with me, admitting the immaturity and how wrong she was and told me she had her reasons for doing what she did, and if I was interested, she would be open in letting me know & and had hoped I was doing well. The first thing that came through my mind, is why? why do you all of a sudden give a care about giving me some type of reasoning for your choice in how you handled things, how come this all of sudden bothered you enough to text me. Personally, I think guilt weighed on her mind, and at that very moment, I didn’t care enough to respond & still don’t. I figure there is no reason to, I had to move on & restart my routine and I had to learn to do that without closure or understanding, so I don’t need her reasoning or closure to continue my life; what was done, is done & while I appreciate the apology, I don’t plan on living my life chasing after reasons to only rehash the past. 

Sometimes things are best unanswered. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 58

10.30.18

Have you managed to overcome fear?

  • Yes, I have managed to overcome some of my fears but not 100 percent, but I have overcome two in the past week in a half due to taking a chance — perhaps it will build my confidence and my mentality so that when it comes time to do these things again, it won’t be a thought in my mind to keep me from trying. 

Have any of you managed to over your fears(s)? 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 57

10.29.18

Do you have leadership qualities or are you strictly a follower?

  • I definitely feel as though I have leadership qualities, I enjoy being a leader (not a boss) but a leader. Especially now more than I have in the past due to my confidence increasing and feeling the need to want to make changes that I don’t want to have to wait for. In the past, my social anxiety, wanting to fit in with the vast majority and be accepted hindered me from wanting to be my own person and take charge of my own thoughts and actions. I still suffer from social anxiety, but with work and managing it better, I don’t allow it to always hinder me or keep me from setting out to do something, and with the newfound confidence in certain areas of my life; speaking up for myself, voicing my own opinions, having wanting to be a leader instead of a “sheep” has become a lot easier. 

Sometimes we stay sheeps in order to be accepted by certain people, to avoid judgement, to avoid confrontation and it allows us to stay within our comfort zone. The problem with lacking leadership is, you start to rely on other people to be your voice, your self confidence continues to dwindle and when it comes time to stick up for yourself, you take the blows & don’t say a word. If you consider yourself to be a follower, think of the reason behind it, what is hindering you from wanting to become a leader? Are you a leader, do you share the qualities of a leader?