Ugh… One of the hardest things I had to do, actually not really, but it was difficult. I decided that I would take 3 months away from training John. I know, no one throw torches at me, there is a good reason and one that hopefully he will understand. I have been doing some inner thinking these past 4-5 days and I needed to figure shit out. I needed to figure out what I am doing with my life at 24 years of age and how what I am doing is benefiting me, if it is at all. This particular thinking included: personal life, my mental health, my physical well-being, career wise, and future goals – not to mention wanting to pass my exam. I volunteered to help my friend because I wanted to see him grow and do better for himself, and I wanted to practice and get better at doing what I love, build confidence within myself and learn to better manage my social anxiety when I am talking to people. He didn’t have to pay me, nor was he under any obligation to keep me as his trainer and vice versa, we had that agreement.  I did this purely to help me, help him and make a difference in his life just a little bit so he could build up some confidence in working out at the gym. I think he has come a way, and still needs work but with time and motivation and the proper discipline, he can do it.

The hardest part about training someone is when they don’t see results, well when trainers don’t see results. I am not used to this, because people I helped prior while in college, they shown some kind of positive results, not HUGE results, but results they were proud of and it made me proud as well. It seemed like at all of John’s weigh ins, except for one when he lost 1 pound, he was complacent or gaining weight and it always  came down to nutrition, what he has eaten, how much of it he has eaten, how long he has gone without eating, his food choices, etc. I had to tell John that exercise is 20 percent of the battle, the other 80 is a good consistent diet/nutrition that positively effects you as well. I am not a nutritionist or dietitian but I do know that if you eat crap and workout, chances are: results will come slower or not at all – which makes my job a whole lot harder & stressful. because I don’t want to have to keep reminding him of what he already knows. Not to mention, he has had a busy schedule, maybe semi stressful (which stress causes weight gain as well) and I don’t think now is the time to be training him, I feel like now is the time for him to kind of take sometime and figure out everything he needs to figure out, so he can have a clearer mind, and hopefully really sit back and focus on what is important in his life – hopefully his health is one. 

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t just about John, this is mostly about me. 80 percent of the reason why I am doing this break is for me. I want to accomplish so much that the constant worrying about my own body has strained my mind & created an obsession with wanting to reach my standard of perfection for myself. I have always struggled with wanting to reach this “perfect body image” , do better, be better, have better. Since my recent breakup in October, I have really had to build myself back up again, it is tough but I manage, and find things to do to keep my mind on my goals. This 3 months will hopefully give me time to build on myself as a whole (in and out) and to give me more time to focus on priorities.

 I don’t know what will happen after 3 months, depending on where I am at with my life and depending on where he is with his, I may end up training him again or I may not. This doesn’t mean I don’t want to train anyone at this time, because I do and I will continue to help those around me and online, I will still post my workouts and will keep my blogging going – I can manage training people for practice until I pass my exam (then I will charge you $$ LOL), just right now, I need to take a break from training my friend until he is further along and mentally ready in his own time. I hope all of you can understand.

Your Fitness Blogger,

Shay-lon xxx